“No woman will ever be truly satisfied with Valentines Day because no man has a chocolate covered penis that ejaculates money. “ I laughed out loud when my sister texted me this joke, but then…. It gave me pause. Are women so willing to make jokes at the expense of men? Hell yes! After all, there is some truth to it, isn’t there? Admit it! Do I speak for myself? I don’t think soooooo! I believe I am also speaking for about 173 million of my closest friends. You know who you are! The ones whose vision boards have all the hearts glued on them along with pictures of loving couples lying on some deserted island sandy beach embracing each other like Burt Lancaster and Deborah Kerr in “From Here to Eternity.” We WANT a man who comes to us bearing chocolate and a wad of cash. Who wouldn’t want that? But, let me tell you, my 173 million middle aged female best friends and I want that and more… yes, more than just chocolate and cash!
We want respect and stock market advice! After all, in this economy what could be more important? Now, I don’t mean to sound greedy, because I know a lot of women my age who bring their own wad of cash to the table as well. I think we all agree respect is crucial in any loving relationship so, why are we doing things to completely screw it up? Stop already! I say to each and every woman out there in the blogosphere, “Honor Thyself!”
Who will respect you if you do not respect yourself? Take stock in your life and do not compromise your dignity. You deserve to be number one, make it so! Throw that guilt right out the window! Have you not spent a lifetime giving and doing for others? It is now YOUR turn! When you respect yourself, men know it, and only when a man respects you does it mean he truly loves you. Do women want it all? You bet your sweet bippy we do!
While I’m at it, let me add the fact that we women want honesty, too. Telling us half the story is… HELLOOOOO! LYING!!! If you can’t tell the entire story, you are hiding something and sooner or later we’re gonna find out what it is. I know you are thinking that what we don’t know won’t hurt you, but when we do find out, it makes things worse, MUCH worse! So, middle-aged women everywhere, I say to you, “Be honest with yourself.” If you are in a relationship and he is not being honest with you, why are you there?
Ask yourself what kind of person you want to be. Draw a picture of yourself. What does it look like? Give yourself a Valentines Day present and put yourself in that picture. Make it happen! Show yourself as being strong, loving, respectful and honest surrounded by people who feel the same way about you. There is no greater gift that you can give yourself than love. It all comes down to love. Though we make jokes about it, the truth is we all want it, and we want it all.
Let me make it clear right here, right now. I LOVE MEN! Not all of them, but most of them, I do, I truly do. I love their insight into things and their sense of humor. I love the way they smell. I love the old ones and the young ones. I love lying with them in bed and feeling their strong hairy bodies next to mine. I love how each and every one of them seems like a little boy and vulnerable at times even though they are all grown up. I love the way they get excited about sports and dogs and I love listening to their crazy childhood stories. I love watching them throw footballs and practicing their golf swings or playing their guitars. I love watching them mow lawns. I love it when they open doors for me and buy me flowers. And now that I am divorced I am looking forward to meeting each and every one of them! I couldn’t live without men in my life.
If you are one of those women, like me, who is spending Valentines Day alone, do something special for yourself. If you have a male friend that is alone you may want to give him a call and invite him out for coffee and dessert. If you are spending it with friends, do something special for them, it will make you feel better, but don’t leave yourself out. If you are spending it with the one you love, be sure he loves you back. If he happens to have a chocolate penis and ejaculates cash then lucky you! Just be sure to surround yourself with the greatest gift of all; honest, respectful and pure love.
Happy Valentines Day to Middle Aged Women Everywhere!